Just searching for the right kind of phrase

wantstobelieve:

SO HEY GUYS I FOUND THIS IN THE INTERNETS AND FELL IN LOVE AND WROTE AN ACCOMPANYING SHORT WHEN I SHOULD BE WORKING

His cape torn at the side and armor vandalized, Thor could barely meet his father’s eyes, blue and dark and ancient before his beseeching ones.

“Thor Odinsson,” the father-god boomed, voice strained by rage and broken heart, “Let this be a lesson in humility for you, that you may stop looking down and belittle others through spite and arrogance.” He slowly turned to the younger son. “Loki, proceed.”

“As you command, father,” Thor could feel the smirk in his brother’s too-quick and too-eager mutter from behind him, obviously fighting to keep a somber tone and not trip all over himself in his haste to reach the thunderer. “I am truly sorry, brother,” Loki whispered as insincerely as he possibly can close to Thor’s ear; and the latter felt the brief sting of cold magic ran through him as fingers dug into his shoulder. And then…

…and then he noticed his father and brother seemed to have experienced a growth spurt even gods would find ridiculous. That’s ridiculous, he echoed in his head, how did they get so big? Is that Old Spice I smell? And why do I feel the urge to shake my rump and slobber all over a tennis ball?

Odin looked quite placated. If anything, he looked even amused as he pursed his lips into a tiny, discreet smile. And Loki. Loki, that cad was practically grinning so wide his rear molars were showing. “Well, father,” he mused, scratching the back of Thor’s ear while making cooing noises—damn it all how dare—oh that feels nice—“I don’t think he would be looking down at anything any time soon.”

And only then did he get his (wagging) ass deported to Midgard.